


dreams, turned to dust

by hollyhobbit101



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt Sam Winchester, Possessed Dean Winchester, Season/Series 14 Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 17:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16268702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyhobbit101/pseuds/hollyhobbit101
Summary: He forgets to shave, after a while. Forgets to eat, too.Dean's gone, Sam isn't coping.





	dreams, turned to dust

He forgets to shave after a while. Forgets to eat, too. Sometimes, he'll look up from whatever he's been reading and find hours old plates of food sitting untouched at his elbow. He doesn't know who puts them there. Jack probably, but it could be Mary too. Or Bobby, though that one seems unlikely. Or... shit, it could be anyone; there's too many damn people in the Bunker now. Sam's glad they're here - they've been invaluable in the search for Michael, and he's happy they're out of that other world - but it's a bit overwhelming. He's used to it just being him and Dean.

 _Fuck_ , Dean. Sam can't imagine - Well, no, he can, actually. He can imagine quite a lot, possession being top of the list. It's kind of become his speciality over the years. What was it Jimmy had said all that time ago? _'Like being chained to a comet'_. Yeah. Times that by a thousand and there you have it: archangel possession.

He hasn't really been sleeping recently either. Truth be told, sleep hasn't come naturally to him for years; he considers himself lucky if he gets into double figures of hours slept per week. He figures that number's gone down now, probably averaging a couple hours per night, and that's being generous. Other, more functional people sleep at night; Sam likes to use the quiet to do some proper research. He'll read every damn book in this place twice if he has to - there's bound to be _something_ on expelling an archangel somewhere.

There's another thing he hates about having all the Apocalypse World survivors here. Sam's never worked well with noise, even when it was just Dean watching some TV in the background, but there's always something going on in the Bunker now. Conversations, people moving about, the slamming of doors in the distance. It's too much. And Sam knows he's supposed to be a leader or whatever, but he has to get away from it all sometimes. The Bunker's huge, and he's taken to exploring deeper than they've looked before when the noise becomes too much. They've got storage rooms full of all kinds of crap that they never got round to searching through, and any place that takes him away from everything else is good in Sam's book. Besides, there might be something hidden away in there that could actually help them, unlike the books in the library that he's read a million times already.

He knows Mary's getting worried about him. Jack and Cas, too. He sees the looks they shoot at him something, the ones that say _How can I help_ or _He looks terrible_ or _Go to bed, Sam_. He just doesn't care. _He's_ not the one they should be worrying about, _He's_ not the one who's a prisoner in his own body, _he's_ not the one going through something incomprehensibly traumatic. Dean is. Dean's the only one they need to be focusing on now.

Sam doesn't care what it takes; they're going to find him. And they're going to get Michael out of him. And then maybe they'll go to a beach somewhere, like Dean has always wanted. Toes in the sand, Hawaiian shirts, the whole nine.

Yeah.

It's a nice dream.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading!


End file.
